Sunday, 12 December 2010

Breaking-up and falling in love: a rollercoaster ride

Dear reader,

Finally another update! >.< yes I am very ashamed of myself for not updating for 2 whole months. But I have a very good explanation for it all: a. I have been crazily busy with school and internship and b. I broke up with my boyfriend about 1,5 month ago. The last reason has been the most important one, because it just didn’t feel right to start writing about that so soon after the breakup. So I decided to not write anything at all for a little while.

Everyone was quite shocked about the break-up. One person even said: I really thought you guys were going to stay together until the end. I used to think the same way, but a lot of things had happened between my (now ex-)boyfriend and me: no fights or anything, but we had had to deal with a lot of difficult situations and he had a lot of problems which he had to deal with (failure anxiety, trust issues, inferiority complex etc. etc.). In the irritations just kept building up. I kept telling myself: it’s ok. This or that will change as soon as this or that happens. In the end… I just got tired of waiting for all those things to change… So I decided to break up with him. Which wasn’t a very easy decision to make since we had been together for almost 4 years. ^__^”

From that point on a lot has happened. I have fallen madly in love with an old classmate of mine… He added me on facebook about two weeks before the break-up. We used to be in primary school together and had not seen each other ever since… So we had about 11? years of catching up to do lol… Really soon after the break-up I just fell head over heals in love with him. I wasn’t really prepared for it since it was so soon, but it kind of just hit me… It was really overwhelming. I felt kind of bad about it towards my ex at first, but you just really can’t stop those feelings if they are this intense… I just can’t recognize myself anymore. I couldn’t eat properly for the first couple of days. I talk to him a lot on msn and, especially in the beginning, if he wasn’t at home when I got home my mood just went sour O.o (truth be told I still have that a little). Also I keep wanting to see him so badly that I would even put my homework on a hold for it ß which is completely out of character o.o; even I am shocked about this one hahaha.

My mom was a little opposed to it at first and still is a little, because she is of the opinion that I should take some time for myself and because she was afraid that my feelings for him were only the result of him being there for me after the breakup. He really has been there for me during and after the breakup, but I am really sure that that’s not the reason why I love him so much… I love the guy for who he is: he’s really sweet, just plain adorable (he’s so huggable that I gave him the nickname Teddy Prince lol), dependable… could go on forever like this forever, but I will spare my readers the prattle of this love stricken kitten ;). Basically, I have really tried to convince my mum (and I have been a little rebellious *hush hush*), because I have never been more sure of anything in my life!
My mum gave me an ultimatum of taking it slow for 2 months… But she is starting to slowly accept that there really is nothing I can do about these feelings hahaha. ^__^” Really ain’t no stopping this. So he has been invited over to dinner on Thursday and will celebrate Christmas with us on boxing day! :D Going to be the best Christmas ever!!!!

I have already introduced him to my best friend (who liked him a lot :D) and showed his Facebook picture to some of my friends. He’s part Surinam, so one of my friends went like: o.o I thought you were into white guys? hahaha. Skin colour really doesn’t matter to me. The most important thing is that it feels right. And gosh this really feels right. It really doesn’t feel like we have only been together for about a month.

^^ So for the past month I have actually been feeling on top of the world. He has the same effect that a Disney store has on me… I get recharged and am sometimes completely hyped up hahhaa. Oh and BONUS: he’s not completely opposed to Disney :P. He likes the Swan Princess (ok that’s not a Disney movie, but it’s Disney-ish) and he wants to go and see Tangled with me :D.

Well this love stricken kittycat is going to get back to her homework. >. > I was thinking of decorating the Christmas tree today, but I am not sure if that will give my dad a heart attack; he’s been sooo busy!
Look forward to some updates about the past 2 months with, amongst other things, a short report on my trip to Disney :D!!!!




Ayaka said...

And I will never tire of saying this, I am happy you fallowed your heart neh~

Blackcat said...

:D As am I, as am I! ^^ The decision was definitely for the best!